Ground Glass
The only freedom I've
been longing for
is to go back to the
blissful time
when I had no idea
how I would die.
Now I contemplate my
covid comorbidities
and consider, should
doctors see
the telltale ‘ground
glass’ in my lungs
what might happen next
...
First, I develop
pneumonia, a crushing pain in the lungs
I've known before. Then,
perhaps weeks later, I wane
by a parade of organ
failures; lungs, kidneys, liver,
or an explosion coming
as a stroke or heart attack.
Respiratory distress is
an agonizing way to go.
Someone, if I am lucky
enough to have someone,
will titrate my
morphine, if I am lucky enough to have morphine,
and relieve my air
hunger. Will, if I am lucky, help me die.
Until the blissful time
returns, I'll stay home.
When I must venture out,
I'll wear a mask
so you are free to worry
less about ‘ground glass’
and if you were to
return the favor
that would be
ever so kind.
Tammi Truax
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