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Saturday, September 5, 2015

Elevator Pitch and Plea

     I've been working on my elevator pitch. What sounds so simple, encapsulating your novel in one sentence, is quite difficult, and I have been strugging with it for a year.
     Here is what I have come up with and am seeking your opinion. Please tell me what you think.

     Enslaved from childhood in the first president's household
Ona realizes freedom will not be granted, and chooses to 
right that wrong by running away, compelling George 
Washington to right that wrong in several ways, 
with enormous stakes for both.

     And here I am in an elevator last night,
 sipping instead of pitching...



    1. I like this, but I'd like to keep the focus on Ona. The weight shifts slightly too much I think to GW given the brief space. I might prefer to end the sentence with that first strong running away, and then start another with something like: how will GW react and how will she survive? That's not it, but "compelling GW to right that wrong in several ways" is great for something longer, but right here it makes me think too much about him, the person we already sort of know. This IS hard! You will do it.


    Thank you for commenting.